The story of Pip the dobermann puppy as told to his owner Alexandra Bastedo.
I have to say the house has become rather boring. The curtains that I pulled off the curtain rail have all been removed and the clothes hooks I pulled out of the wall have not been replaced. This means I can no longer access the coats and drag them out into the garden to shred them any more as the remaining ones are all now stashed away in cupboards which I don’t yet know how to open. In the kitchen everything has now been placed out of reach although if anything is left within range I can get it in 2 minutes flat. I even manage to jump on the table but there is no point now as there is rarely anything on it.
My mistress does try very hard I know to alleviate my boredom with toys which I disembowel and bones which I chew and then bury in the garden. The trouble is half the time the fox comes along at night and digs them up so they tend to be gone in the morning. The other evening I actually saw him doing it from our enclosed dog area and promptly jumped over the five foot fence and set off in hot pursuit, but unfortunately he was too fast for me and disappeared into his den.
One of my favourite games is called pouncing on moles. Since Dancer , the mole catching cat, was run over they are proliferating again. So I run round and round the garden in mad circles and when I sense one digging beneath the soil I leap up in the air and pounce on the rising earth. So far I am afraid I haven’t caught any.
I suppose the age difference between myself and Nellie the other dobermann is too great as she is seven years old and I am ten months. I do try to engage her in violent horseplay – dobermann style – but since I hurt her leg I have not been allowed to play with her and get squirted with the water pistol if I even try. On top of that I am now supervised at all times or put in my cage if there is no one around so that all I can do is sleep. However I have discovered that the car is such fun. There is another water pistol in that which threatens me whenever I maul Nellie or bark at passing dogs but the best time I have is when I am left alone in it. There was a special dog cover protecting the back seat which I have slowly ripped apart and it has now disintegrated beyond recognition. Then the other day I discovered the Road Atlas of Great Britain and it proved to be quite a challenge. However it was a most rewarding past time and I soon managed to tear it apart into little pieces so Glasgow now lies next to Brighton. I just hope my mistress doesn’t need to travel anywhere important in the near future. Best of all though has been the head rests on the back seat which I rugger tackled while she was at the dentist. Having managed to unzip the fabric with my teeth I then managed to pull out lumps of sponge which I threw about all over the car. Unfortunately the inner core was made of metal and it proved too difficult to remove so that had to stay. After half an hour she came out of the dentist with a frozen mouth but when she saw the inside of the car she screamed and told me I was a “Bad boy”. Though I really don’t know why as by then I had fallen asleep from all the exertion and wasn’t doing anything at all.
They take me on really long walks over the downs every day in an effort to tire me out but they never succeed and they even watch the “Dog Whisperer” on television to try to pick up tips. But so far so good as I have outwitted them at every turn. I wonder what new activity I can think up next!
Copyright Alexandra Bastedo
Alexandra Bastedo is the founder of the ABC Animal Sanctuary on www.abcanimalsanctuary.co.uk which depends upon volunteers and donations to feed and treat the rescued animals in the sanctuary. Gretel the fragile grey donkey who arrived in a terrible state needs ongoing veterinary attention. Alexandra has also written veterinary approved books and a few remaining signed copies are available from the website shop. All proceeds go to the animals.
