Pip the dobermann puppy’s diary as told to his mistress Alexandra Bastedo.
How could she! I know the commands sit, wait,stay, heel and come perfectly well. Admittedly I don’t often choose to obey them but that is another matter. Apparently the police force prefers to use German Shepherds as they do what they are told whereas dobermanns think about it first and decide whether it is a good idea.
Well I was dragged off to dog obedience classes. At first it has to be said I didn’t know what I was in for as we entered the strange village hall. There were 6 miscellaneous dogs smaller than me so, tail held high, I growled a greeting to let them know I was top dog.”What a cocky fellow!”said the instructor “He is very full of himself.”Then the nightmare started as I was endlessly told to sit, heel, and stay like all the other idiotic dogs that obeyed the inane commands without question.
Why sit in the middle of a cold floor for no good reason? Why walk monotonously to heel round and round and round a room? Why pass by a Cornish Pasty on a Hostess tray without eating it? Well, I can tell you after initially obeying the commands more out of surprise than anything else I soon got fed up and flatly refused to do anything at all. My mistress cajoled, pulled, pushed, and threatened to no avail – I refused to budge. “I’ve never had one as bad as this before” she said. Finally another lady came over. “I have a lot of experience with recalcitrant dogs- let me try” she said.
“Well I wasn’t about to respond to a total stranger so I stood when she said “Sit” sat when she said”Stand” ,came when she said “Stay”,stayed still when she called “Come”, stood up when she said”Down” and laid down when she said “Up”. “What a contrary dog” she said “But I have a trick up my sleeve.” Suddenly I began to find her more appealing as the aroma of fresh sausage emanated from her hand and it occurred to me that if I did what I was told I might actually be given some. Well, that was it- every time I obeyed her command I was given a piece of succulent sausage. In fact such was my motivation that I was voted top of the class. My owner meanwhile looked on in total amazement. “Bribery” said the lady “Is the only solution with a rambunctious dog like this. ” I have never had to do that with any of my other dobermanns before” said my mistress. “Well you have been lucky until now” said the lady “But he is an obvious foodie so that’s the route to go”.
Since then life has improved immeasureably as I get tit-bits every time I do what I am told and Nellie - my fellow dobermann-who used to do everything for nothing is rather pleased as she has muscled in on the act and gets something too.
My love of food though did get me into trouble over the holidays. My master and mistress were hosting a Christmas party for the thirty volunteers at the sanctuary just before Christmas. To this end they had spruced up the house and put up pretty decorations. This included a rooted Christmas tree with fairy lights and coloured objects including chocolates in silver and gold wrappers. Well I went into the sitting room while they were in the kitchen preparing mulled wine and mince pies and discovered myself alone with the Christmas tree with the chocolate ornaments. With all the titbits I had been receiving I naturally presumed they were for me and started to remove them. The trouble was they were fairly well attached so I had to pull the tree out of its pot and drag it round the room. I did make a bit of a mess but did succeed in locating all the chocolate ornaments and gobbling them up with or without wrappers. Suddenly I heard footsteps and a scream. “What have you done” yelled my mistress as she surveyed the devastation caused by the mud, the pine needles and shattered baubles. I skulked off to my cage and decided to stay there while the hoover and broom appeared to rectify the situation. I was subsequently locked in it for the duration of the party but didn’t really mind as by then I was feeling a bit queasy. It seemed a good time was had by all except me and the following morning I sicked up a lot of bits of silver and gold paper. Still I was better by Christmas Day and Nellie and I very much enjoyed the bones,pizzles, hide chews , squeaky toys and carrots that we found in our stockings.
By Alexandra Bastedo
Copyright A.L.Bastedo
Alexandra Bastedo is the founder of the ABC Animal Sanctuary at www.abcanimalsanctuary.co.uk which is dependent on volunteers and donations and adoptions to continue its rescue work. Any contribution no matter how small is gratefully received. We will shortly be offering membership of the sanctuary on the websit e which will include access to blogs and articles on animal health and free entry to our open days.
